The Priest
by Omoi-ame
Summary: The only thing Sir Leader told him about his new partner was that he was, “a high priest of Jashin”, so he had no idea what to expect……………SasoDei/DeiSaso and HidaKuzu/KakuHida. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1: through rain sleet, or snow

The only thing Sir Leader told him about his new partner was that he was, "a high priest of Jashin", so he had no idea what to expect...tell me if you want pairings, might do slight Saso/Dei and Hida/Kuzu...MIGHT!!! 

Uh, yeah, Hidan rules, all of Akatsuki rules, and they need more fan fictions!!!!!!!!!!!! So, write more about them please...T-T I'm begging you! Hidan & Kakuzu ... there is so little fiction about them!!!!!! So, that is partly why I'm writing this...the other part is cuz I'm bored & REALLY want to write about them Um, oh yeah! Uh, tell me what pairings you'd like...I might do Saso/Dei, and maybe Hida/Kuzu...tell me, k?

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I really waste my time on a sight for "Fan Fiction?  
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"The Priest"  
Ch.1: through rain, sleet, or snow.

Rain pounded down upon the three lone travelers. It thundered violently, lightning piercing the sky.  
"Great! Just great!" a loud voice called out in frustration. It belonged to one of the travelers.  
"Oi, just calm down, Kakuzu." suggested another, trying to calm his rising temper.  
" ...", there was a moments silence before the angry man answered, " Fine..." he ground out, obviously trying to contain his temper. " Let's at least try and find somewhere where we can wait out this storm..." As Kakuzu headed off through the dreary town, the other two followed, glad he had not lost his temper.

The trio continued to walk through the storm. The ground was very wet, and the thunder could be heard from a mile away. Kakuzu didn't like loud, he never talked much, and, really the only ones in Akatsuki that did were Tobi and Deidara. _Well, I could have been sent with them on this mission...thank god Leader sent Itachi and Kisame instead..._ He thought to himself as they continued to slosh through the muddy walk way of the Hidden Rain village.

"Huh, well, I guess they didn't name this village after the rain for nothing! Heheh..." spoke the one who had recently tried to calm Kakuzu's temper.  
"...Kisame..." spoke the third traveler who, up until now, hadn't spoken most of the trip, he rarely ever did.  
"Yeah, Itachi-san"  
"...that's not funny"  
"...oh...yeah...eheheh." Kisame replied, a bit hurt. After all, he was only trying to lighten up the mood! It was more grim than the day Sir Leader made all Akatsuki sit through a presentation on "Classic World Domination"...Kisame shuddered at the thought of ever having to watch another educational video again.

Kakuzu was slightly ahead of the two, eager to get out of the storm. Today just wasn't his day. He had just recently killed off his sixth partner, but it was really no big deal, the other s had come to expect it from him. He killed every partner he ever had. However, Sir Leader had had it with his violent temper and sent him to find his new, seventh, partner. It would have been a bit better going if he had more information on him, but the only thing Sir Leader told him about his new partner was that he was, "a high priest of Jashin", so he had no idea what to expect, or how to find him. _One thing's for sure,_ he thought, _there's no way I'm going around every church in this place asking if one of the high priests want to join a an evil gang of criminals! What was Sir Leader thinking?!_

" Kakuzu!" the sudden cry braking his train of thought, Kakuzu turned looked up, seeing Kisame pointing at something. He followed the man's gaze and found himself looking at exactly what he had been looking for. Shelter. Finally, they could get out of this bothersome rain! On top of that, it seemed to be a church of some sort, if his luck really _was_ turning around, he may find his partner.

The three rushed over to the church, thankful that they wouldn't have to stand out in the storm any longer. When they reached it, they were a bit surprised to see that the front doors had not been locked. Surprised, but glad. They entered with caution, not knowing what might happen. Man, with _their_ luck so far, they might have been attacked by a rabid monk for all they knew! Fortunately for them, no rapid monks.

Kakuzu stepped in first, and once he signaled the "all's clear", Itachi and Kisame followed. The inside was not like a normal church, how they were all white and had colorful stained-glass windows as tall as the wall it self. No, this one seemed rather dark, of course, there _was_ a storm out side, probably not the cheeriest of times.  
"Well, this sure is a pleasant place." Kisame said as he looked around. The others did the same, and once the were sure a welcoming committee wouldn't come, decided to wonder around.

Kakuzu, Itachi, and Kisame walked down a long hall way. There were no pictures, but candles burned throughout the whole walk way. They emitted a soft, yet somewhat eerie glow. The place was painted mostly dark red, with some white and black here and there.

"Heh. I can see why no one's here, who'd want to be in the middle of a storm. Just make's it look even creepier." Kisame mumbled through his usual smile.

"...hm." Itachi replied.

They continued to walk at their own leisure until they entered a rather large room. It must have been where everybody met to hear people preach and what not, because it was the most elaborate room in the building so far. Tall candle stands held their burning burden silently, while the vibrant red curtains held the soft glow the gave off. Their was a large glass window on the wall in front of them. It framed the lightning outside and gave an ominous presences through the room.

"Man, feel's like we walked into some old horror movie."

" ...I've seen worse..."

" Yeah, like Orochimaru in a dress." Kisame teased.

"Stop fooling around." Kakuzu stated. " This place gives me an odd feeling..." He trailed off.

" What's wrong?" joked the "comedian" of the group, " You scared, Kakuzu?"

" No. It's just-"

" Are interested in converting? Or should I save you trouble and just kill you now?"

The group whirled around to see a man standing in the candle light. He was tall, his silver hair slicked back, showing off his intense purple eyes. He wore the robes of a priest and had a rosary hanging on his bare chest. His eyes seemed to catch the light of the candles, making them even more ominous. He had a taunting smirk on his face that seemed to say, _Go ahead, defy me! I dare you!_ Kakuzu was uneasy with having to deal with man right now, he really didn't feel in the mood to fight. _This is bad_...he thought, eyes fixated on what the man would do next.

"Well?" the priest inquired perilously.  
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A/N: Sooooooooooo...I know this ch. Is pretty serious 'n' stuff, but, the first usually is...this is only my second fic. & my first actual one. So, help is welcome. Do you want me to continue? I hope foe at least 4 reviews, please. & like my other story, I'll give you sneak-peaks at the next ch...if you want me to cont., that is.

Ch.2: Preaching Violence

" Huh, so you losers got caught in the storm?" the man said, looking upset.

" Why so upset? It's no big deal." Kisame said.

" Oh, I could less about you fs , I'm just upset 'cuz I couldn't possibly sacrifice someone so pathetic..."he stated quite bluntly.


	2. Chapter 2: Preaching Violence

Pairings? YES or NO……………………..not sure…………………….hmmmm…

PRAISE JASHIN-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worth cont.?

…………………PLEASE WRITE MORE FICTION ON HIDAN!!!!!!!!! & Kakuzu, don't forget him.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I really waste my time on a sight for "Fan Fiction"?!?!?!?!?

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"The Priest"

Ch.2: Preaching Violence

"Well?!" the priest spoke, his violet eyes holding a dangerous glow. For long time, everyone stood still, thinking of what to do.

…. Kakuzu thought desperately. 

"Now, now, Priest-sama." Kisame's voice cut through Kakuzu's thoughts. " You have a misunderstanding. We were just coming to the village, when the storm came! We came in here because it was the first shelter we could find! We simply wish to wait out the storm, no harm!"

" Huh, so you losers got caught in the storm?" the man said, looking upset.

" Why so upset? It's no big deal." Kisame said.

" Oh, I could less about you fs, I'm just upset 'cuz I couldn't possibly sacrifice someone so pathetic………"he stated quite bluntly.

"…!" Itachi's glare deepened at these words. Kisame, being Itachi's partner, knew he was about to kill the man. So, he decided this be the best time to interrupt.

"Um, Priest-sama, would it be ok if we stayed through the storm?" he asked, hoping the man would not put them out.

The silver haired priest seemed to consider this, then said, "Aw, why not? Not like I have any other fing to do…….. Oi, ds, you can stay!"

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Though they were glad he hadn't tried some priestly thing like …………… well, …….. exceorsisim, or something on them, but…….…………this guy,…. was weird! He had taken them on a 3 hour tour of the church. 3 HOURS! He explained every single detail there possibly could have been to know every thing, every pillar, every stain, in that old place! After about the 2nd hour the three were starting to wish they would have gotten kicked out. I mean,

"And that is the holy-"

-Grmmmble-

He turned to the trio, with a questioning look on his face. They, in turn, blushed.

"U-uh…..heheh, sorry-"

"Well, guess I gotta cook now, seriously…."

With that, he took his leave, the others following, a bit caught off guard by how he simply excepted things. They wondered into the mess hall. It was a big room, which seemed a bit odd, seeming as the church didn't seem to have many people. They found the priest cooking some traditional Japanese meal. He looked up, and finally noticing the drenched coats of the travelers, signaled a near by closet.

" There's some spare clothes in there, if you keep those coats on, you'll get sick. And I don't wanna have to take care of you, seriously!"

The trio exchanged glances, then followed his orders. The 'spare clothes' turned out to be monk's robes. A bit uncomfortable, but, to be honest, they weren't sure if they wanted the strange priest to be 'taking care of them' if they got sick. He might try some weird potion on them or something like that. When the food was ready, they dug in with gusto, not having eaten since they left the Akatsuki lair. The food was good, and it didn't have poison in it, so, they were satisfied. The man decided now to start talking again,_ oh joy_.

"Hm, you know, you guys are weird!" he stated blankly.

That got their attention. This guy was a religious nut case….and he was accusing _them _of being weird, I mean, sure they weren't the most normal people, but, _seriously_!…….and they were even starting to talk like him!

"….I don't think you really have room talk, Sir Priest….." Itachi said dangerously.

"Hn, just call me Hidan. It's easier, seriously man…."

" Hidan, is it?" Kisame asked, once again trying to clear the atmosphere. " I'm Kisame, the masked guy is Kakuzu, and this one is Itachi."

" Ha! 'Itachi'?! 'Weasel'?!?! Haha! Man, you must hate your parents!"

"…..I killed them…."

" Really? Kudos to you, man!"

Clearly this guy had lost his mind, or he was just the worst the priest ever, he was, literally, 'preaching violence'!!

" When I killed my folks, I never felt happier! No one to boss me around and tell me to eat my vegetables!" he announced, grinning.

"Uh…… just what kind of priest are you?!" Kakuzu finally spoke. At this question, Hidan seemed to brighten up.

" You, my strange friend, are in the presence of none other than the only High Pries of Jashin!" Hidan proclaimed proudly.

" Your new partner will be a High Priest of Jashin. Trust me, you'll know when you meet him…….…."

What Sir Leader said, so, this loud-mouth is……………my new partner?!

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A/N: Soooooooooooooooo…………………I failed at making it better…….TT….don't kill me…………in the next one,….it will probably be as much as boring as this one…..gosh, sorry. Once they go to Akatsuki, though, it will get better………..I promise!

Ch.3: We want YOU to join Akatsuki!

" Huh, well, it sounds like you're a buncha' freaks…."

The three Akatsuki stared at Hidan, hoping they could persuade him into coming to Akatsuki.

"…………….sounds fun." that same mocking grin spread across his face, and eyes gleaming with intent.


	3. Chapter 3: We want YOU to join Akatsuki!

P.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, myself, never cuss…..so…..Hidan's, uh, "colorful language" is hard for me write……….trying to fix that…;

Pairings? YES or NO……………………..not sure…………………….hmmmm…

PRAISE JASHIN-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Worth cont.?

…………………PLEASE WRITE MORE FICTION ON HIDAN!!!!!!!!! & Kakuzu, don't forget him.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I really waste my time on a sight for "Fan Fiction"?!?!?!?!?

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"The Priest"

Ch.3: We want YOU to join Akatsuki!

_...My...partner..._Kakuzu thought dumbly continued to watch the man talk of himself. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Itachi and Kisame glancing towards him, pitying his bad fortune. 

"……..and Jashin-sama also-" Hidan continued to chat on endlessly about his god, not caring to notice his guest's worried faces.

_...MY partner..._He couldn't shake the despair off. This loud-mouth…. PRIEST…. was his new partner?! 

" but, you know, Jashin-sama is not only divine, but-"

"WHY GOD, OH WHY?!?!!"

Kakuzu's sudden outburst shocked even Itachi a bit, he knew he had a bad temper, but this? Everyone stared at him, until Hidan broke the silence.

"Um…. I prefer, "Jashin-sama". For "God" is "Jashin-sama", thank you very much."

This guy was unbelievable! He didn't take Kakuzu's outburst offensively or anything! He was weird. Weirder than any Akatsuki had ever thought a priest could be…….

"So, any way, as I was saying before I was _rudely_ interrupted….."

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"hmmmmmm…………………." Hidan was deep in thought, musing over what he had just been told.

The three Akatsuki watched him nervously. They decided to jump the gun and just tell him about Akatsuki. Everything. How he was supposed be Kakuzu's new partner. The whole deal. It had gone better than they had expected, though.

"Ok, ok………so 'lemme' get this straight, seriously………." he spoke. " _'Akatsuki' _is an evil organization bent on world domination……. And _you _want _me_ to join so I can be this giant _freak's _new partner…………seriously?"

Now that they heard it, the trio had to admit, it _did_ sound a bit…….well,…stupid.

"…….hmmm…….." Hidan closed his eyes once more to mull over this information. When his eyes finally opened, there was a sort of mischievous gleam about them. " Huh, well, it sounds like you're a buncha' freaks…."

The three Akatsuki stared at Hidan, hoping they could persuade him into coming to Akatsuki.

"…………….sounds fun." that same mocking grin spread across his face, and eyes gleaming with intent.

Well, they knew one thing for sure about Kakuzu's partner-to-be…._This guy was weird..._

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They set out from the church at dawn, after Hidan packed up and told his subordinates he was leaving for a while. They had been surprised at just how much he was respected as a priest. He certainly didn't look or act as a well respected person would.

They continued walking until high noon. They then decided to stop and eat the lunch Hidan had made before leaving the church. He made pretty good food, granted it was nothing fancy, just rice balls. Once Kisame could no longer stand the silence, he decided to strike up a conversation.

" Uh, so………..the rice balls good…..what's in them?" he asked Hidan.

"Fish." he replied bluntly.

Itachi stared at Kisame, knowing what was going to happen next.

"W-WHAT?!?!?!" he screamed. " Fish?! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!! I'm a cannibal!!!!!!!!!!"

Hidan watched Kisame try to wipe the flavor off his tongue, and freak out. "hey."

Kakuzu turned to him, "Yeah?"

"Does this happen often?" he inquired, never taking his eyes off the shark man.

"When ever he eats fish ……" he said, doing the same.

"Huh, well that's weird…….seriously…."

"Yeah……."

Both went back to eating to their rice balls, as Itachi hit Kisame to stop his freaking out.

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Hidan was being led through a dark forest, not even the birds were sing. The sun was setting on the high cliffs above the towering trees. The other three stopped abruptly in front of a large tree.

" Hey, you plan coming out?" Kisame said, smiling at the tree.

Hidan looked over to the tree._ Is this guy ok? Seriously..._

"….Kisame…"

Hidan stared in disbelief. _Kisame...is talking...to a tree...and teh tree is talking back...I'm officially goin' crazy here..._

Just then, Hidan saw a…….Venus fly trap?… emerge from the tree.

I'm goin' crazy…………..

"Who is that with you? **Can we eat him?" **as the fly trap parted, Hidan saw a man in it. He was half black and half white. His eyes stared at Hidan accusingly.

_...Ok, it was less weird when I thought the tree was talking...seriously! I mean,m did he jus tanswer wit htwo different voices?!?!_Hidan was at lose for words. And that was saying something! 

"No, no. This is Hidan, Kakuzu's new partner, Zestu." Kisame said, laughing.

The plant-man-thing bowed to Hidan, and he did the same. Then, Zetsu led them the entrance of the hide out.

" Well, welcome to Akatsuki, Hidan!" announced Kisame, turning to Hidan with a smile on his face.

_Well...this is gonna be a s laod of a time...seriously. These guys are freak shows..._Hidan thought to himself as he entered the dark cave-like entrance. 

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A/N: Welp, here it is……………….. Yeah…… I, once again, tried to make it better…. I donno if it worked or not, though. Hope you like it sorry it took so long to update, writer's block ;………………I've decided on pairings...it's going to be: SasoxDei (as requested by Kyotogirl) HidaKuzu, and maybe PeinxKonan...so, yeah. 

Hey, should I make a doujinshi? I'm not sure………you tell me, k?

Ch. 4: First impressions are only made once

Hidan walked into the lair, and instantly found himself tackled. He looked up, furious.

" THE F WAS THAT?!?!?! B!"he screamed.

" Wow………..this your new partner Kakuzu? He's a total bishi!" laughed the blond on top of Hidan, as he saw Hidan turn bright red at this.


	4. Chapter 4: First impressions

**__**

Aargh! Sorry for it being so late! School and Writer's block formed an alliance and ganged up on me. 

P.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, myself, never cuss…..so…..Hidan's, uh, "colorful language" is hard for me write……….trying to fix that…;

Pairings- the pairings requested were: HidaKuzu, SasoDei, PeiNan.

Worth cont.?

…………………PLEASE WRITE MORE FICTION ON HIDAN!!!!!!!!! & Kakuzu, don't forget him.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I really waste my time on a sight for "Fan Fiction"?!?!?!?!?

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"The Priest"

Ch.4: First impressions are only made once

Hidan walked into the lair, and instantly found himself tackled. He looked up, furious." THE F$ WAS THAT?!?!?! B&$!"he screamed.

" Wow………..this your new partner Kakuzu? He's a total bishi!" laughed the blond on top of Hidan, as he saw Hidan turn bright red at this.

Just as it looked possible for a fight to start, a hand reached down and pulled the hyper blond off of Hidan.

" Huh. Really, Deidara, jumping on the new member is not an ideal way to welcome him into an evil organization…" scolded Hidan's temporary savior.

"Sorry, Dana, un."

"Yes, well, just don't do it again." he said, a bit of a agitated tone to his voice.

"Ha ha, don't worry, Dana. You know you're the only one for me!" The blond smiled innocently at the red-head.

"D- Deidara!" His face now matching the shade of his hair.

Hidan looked from the short red-head, to the still-grinning blond. "Hey, uh. How'd that red twerp get hooked up with the mental chick?"

Everyone besides the 'red twerp' and 'mental chick', who were sending death glares towards the poor priest, tried desperately to control a fit of laughter. Hidan, however, was still very out-of-loop.

"What? What's so funny!?"

"I'M A GUY! UN!" Deidara shouted.

"………..WHAT IN $#$ IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD THESE DAYS?!?!?! #&!" Hidan screamed in his confusion. "The dude _seriously_ looks like a lady!"

Deidara was successfully fumed now. He was about ready to murder the loud-mouth priest. That is, until a shadow appeared, looking quite ominous.

"What is going on here?" it demanded in a monotonous voice.

"Um, the new member is here, Sir Leader!" Kisame tried to make light of the situation.

"…Good." the reply came back as flat as before. " Now, let us introduce ourselves."

All of the Akatsuki obeyed, never doubting their leader. Leader began.

"You may call me Leader."

Huh, superiority complex much? Hidan thought to himself. 

"Next." Leader commanded.

"Right, un!" Deidara jumped up. " Hey, I'm Deidara, un!"

The mental chick dude… Hidan thought. 

"I am Sasori of the Red sand." The red-head short man announced.

Pptff… Hidan scoffed in his mind. 

" …. Konan is my name…"

Hidan just then noticed another shadow appear next to that of Leader's.

Wow…….just like I thought, freaks.

Leader looked around before answering. "Hm, I guess that is a-"

"HI LEADER -SAMA!!!!"

Leader was stopped mid sentence by a child-like voice yelling excitedly.

"Leader-sama, what about Tobi? Hidan doesn't know Tobi yet!"

"Tobi, you are not even _in_ the organization yet." his voice flat. " Hidan does not _need_ to know you."

"Aww…." He said disappointedly.

_What a $# weirdo._

Everyone then turned to Hidan expectantly. He did not quite catch on at first, but then realized what to do.

"Uh, I'm Hidan. High priest of Jashin. Nice ta' meet cha'." He said with some-what of an awkward smile.

With a nod from Leader, the shadows disappeared, and everyone went back to relaxing. Deidara went up to Hidan, still smiling strangely.

"Hey, un. I think we got off on the wrong hand. You seem cool, un, let's try again."

"Uh, sure. Whatever ya' say….. Psycho chick." He grinned mischievously.

The blonde's smile widened with the same kind of mischief. " Sure thing, bishounen."

Ha ha, this guy might not be so bad after all….. Hidan noted in his mind. _Well, this place might not be a total $$._

Kakuzu sat observing his new partner. He and Deidara were having a talk about all of their obsessions. He was still not quite sure. Before, he could always tell what his partner was like with just a glance, but with Hidan… He couldn't quite figure him out yet. There was something…different about him.

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**A/N: SORRY AGAIN!!!!!!** I am really sorry, to make up for how late this, I'll start writing the next ch. as soon as this is posted! I PROMISE! So...not a very good ch., but i'm still sufereing from the incident with writer's bl;ock & school...ugh! Well, enjoy! Next chapter: coming VERY soon!

Ch. 5. 2's a couple, 3's a crowd,...10's too many to care about...

Kakuzu studied his partner carefully. The fact that he did not have him figured out, well, irked him. The guy was different. Strange. Unlike his other partners. So, why was he? He wouldn't let it go until he knew for sure. Today, no matter _how much_ he loathed it, was about spending time with his partner. Today in particular, he hated with a _great_ passion.


	5. Chapter 5: 2’s a couple, 3’s a crowd

SORRY IT TOOK SOOO LONG!!!!!!! **We had to un-plug my computer to get the Christmas stuff in & out of storage!!! & it had all of my documents on it!!! **

&&&&& don't worry, there will be Hidakuzu, it just has to build! & I've never written shounen ai…………. ;

P.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, myself, never cuss…..so…..Hidan's, uh, "colorful language" is hard for me write……….trying to fix that…;

Pairings- the pairings requested were: HidaKuzu, SasoDei, PeiNan.

Worth cont.?

…………………PLEASE WRITE MORE FICTION ON HIDAN!!!!!!!!! & Kakuzu, don't forget him.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I really waste my time on a sight for

"Fan Fiction"?!?!?!?!?

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"The Priest"

Ch. 5. 2's a couple, 3's a crowd, …10's too many to care about.

It was morning in the Akatsuki lair. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, and Hidan and Deidara were causing an uproar. Since they were both so alike, naturally, their friendship was easy. Now, they were talking non-stop about their obsessions. Non-stop. They showed off their favorite things, least favorite, and everything else they could possibly find in common. Deidara had jus recently decided to show off some of his blasting clay to Hidan. This may have not been the most ideal choice.

"F$#! That one blew a crater in the ground!" Hidan yelled in delight.

"Ha ha! You 'ain't seen nothing yet, un!"

Kakuzu studied his partner carefully. The fact that he did not have him figured out, well, irked him. The guy was different. Strange. Unlike his other partners. So, why was he? He wouldn't let it go until he knew for sure. Today, no matter _how much_ he loathed it, was about spending time with his partner. Today in particular, he hated with a _great_ passion.

Hidan and Deidara continued their game of explosives, not even giving the rest of Akatsuki a second glance as they sent death glares at them for how loud they were. Itachi finally got up and approached Kakuzu and Sasori.

"You two….go and shut them up." the raven demanded. He left without waiting for an answer. The two looked, annoyed, at each other, then got up and confronted their partners.

"Hey!", Sasori said while jerking Deidara back, "You're to loud….let's go do something else…." he glared down at the blonde.

"Aw, Dana, are you jealous that I'm spending time with Hidan and not you?" he asked in a teasing voice. Sasori looked away, embarrassed. Deidara said good bye to the priest and went off with the red-head…..That left only Kakuzu and Hidan. Hidan looked up questioningly at the man, who, in turn, stared back.

"Well…?" Hidan began.

" 'Well' what?" Kakuzu shot back.

"Well, aren't you going say something like 'you're too loud, let's go do something else'?" his smug grin was back on his face, making Kakuzu freeze.

What is with this guy? he thought desperately. He grabbed Hidan by the wrist and pulled him up. "Leader says that we need to work on our partnership skills." 

"Eh, whatever…" _Jashin, this guy is weird…_the priest thought smugly. _He's not like the others …he's……different somehow…_ he contemplated this new discovery, wondering about his partner. He was tall, and had broad shoulders. He sounded ruff, but his face was always covered with his mask. Hidan didn't even know what color his hair was! He was….mysterious….but in a good way. Not in that stupid, secret agent way…..like in that quiet, self-reserved way. That was rare to the Jashinist…it was interesting. _Something tells me this partnership will be fun…_

The two arrived in the lair, and were surprised to see that Leader was there, along with all the others. They came into the group, and Leader announced something that caught everyone off guard.

"We're going to the festival in Konoha."

"What?!" the yelled in unison.

"I said, we shall go to the Konoha Annual Spring Festival."

"Why would we go there, un?" Deidara protested.

"Because," Leader said monotonously, " the Kyuubi and Shukaku will be there, and we must study them."

This seemed normal enough, but it was still strange. An evil organization bent on world domination….going to a spring festival?! That didn't seem right.

"Everyone," Leader spoke once again, " Will have to make it seem as if we are just simple visitors. We must disguise ourselves. They do not know most of us yet, however… Itachi, be careful. Take extra care to blend in with the crowd."

Just as everyone was about ready to leave, Leader came at them with another shocking statement.

"We will go in partners…pretend to be together."

This, more than anything, shocked them. Kakuzu spun around to protest with the leader.

"Leader-sama, why on earth would we do that?!"

"Because, Kakuzu, and this should make you happy, couples get in free…"

Now he was truly in turmoil. He was stuck between his two most prized things….money…and his dignity. He decided that money was worth more, when you're rich, you can _buy_ dignity… _I can't believe I'm going to do this…_

"Very well…Leader-sama." he sighed and turned to his partner. Hidan stood smirking up at the man, with a rather sarcastic _' oh, poor you, boo-who' _look in his eyes. He just couldn't figure this guy out…

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That night, the Akatsuki dressed up for the festival. Deidara and Sasori wore kimonos that matched their hair. Deidara's had birds, usual, but it suit him, and Sasori's was traditional. Itachi had his hair down, and wore glasses. His kimono was blood red and black, while Kisame's was blue, of course. Kakuzu wore a traditional, dark green kimono. Leader had forced him to take off his mask, he was not happy, to say the least. Hidan stared up at his partner's face, amazed that he actually had one under that mask. He looked fine, the priest couldn't guess why he'd keep his face covered. In fact, he looked younger without his mask. Kakuzu felt the man staring at him and glared down.

"What?!" he ground out.

"Jashin, chill man! I was just looking at you!" he said defensively. Kakuzu looked at the other man. He wore a black kimono with a blood red sash. His chest was bare and his pendant hung loose on his chest. He had still kept his hair smoothed back. The priest looked almost like when they found him at the church.

"Hey, #$!"

Kakuzu looked up at the man, still angry.

"Why are you staring at me?" Hidan said, confused and a bit annoyed.

" The same as you did to me…" Kakuzu mumbled under his breath.

Leader showed up, with his partner, and the Akatsuki headed for the Festival. Deidara strode up to Hidan and Kakuzu, smirking. "Hey, un. First date, Hidan, un?"

Hidan blushed, and admitted, "yes" with a murmur.

Kakuzu blushed a little too. He couldn't believe that the pretty-boy hadn't ever gone on a date before. _He certainly isn't bad-looking, he could easily get lots of people to ask him… _He stopped in mid-thought, what he was thinking?! Sure, it was true Hidan looked handsome, but…

"Hey, Kuzu!" Deidara interrupted, "Looks like you have to show him how dates are supposed to go…" The blonde grinned wide, a bit of blush on his cheeks. "But, if neither of you know…" He blushed more, " Dana and I could show you….just hang out with us…un." Sasori, who was next to the blonde, blushed red. Hidan said sure, and Kakuzu continued walking without a word.

This is all too weird, he thought, _Why am I blushing, it's just a pretend date…everyone else will be there too. Everyone. All ten of us…so…I don't have to worry._

------------------------------------

****

A/N: Again, SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll transfer my documents to my new laptop to make sure that dilemma never happens again!!!!! & I'll write the next chapter REAL soon, as soon as I transfer it to my laptop!!!! 

Ch 6. Alls fair in love and war.

Deidara had a special plan for those two. He could tell that'd be great together. He'd make sure they'd be great together! If he couldn't make them realize that tonight, them he'd never blow anything up until they hooked up, and that's serious!


	6. Chapter 6: All's fari in love and war

don't worry, there will be Hidakuzu, it just has to build! & I've never written shounen ai…………. ;

P.S.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, myself, never cuss…..so…..Hidan's, uh, "colorful language" is hard for me write……….trying to fix that…;

Pairings- the pairings requested were: HidaKuzu, SasoDei, PeiNan.

Worth cont.?

…………………PLEASE WRITE MORE FICTION ON HIDAN!!!!!!!!! & Kakuzu, don't forget him.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, would I really waste my time on a sight for

"Fan Fiction"?!?!?!?!

-------------------------------------------

"The Priest"

Ch. 6. All's fair in love and war.

Hidan and the others wondered around the fair nonchalantly. The Jashinist was actually having a bit of fun, not that he'd ever admit it. This gave him time to figure out his partner, and he was sure he had him figured out now. Kakuzu was the big, scary type, but he hated being talked down to. He wasn't loose with his money at all, not at all. Whenever he got mad, he got mad! The type who keeps to himself… completely opposite of Hidan himself…well, except for the temper.

While Hidan was enjoying himself, Kakuzu was still uneasy. He hadn't figured out Hidan completely, yet. He knew he was highly religious, but he had a real problem with swearing. He seemed smug, but he did get indignant often… he was like a child, almost…only better looking. Ah! There it is again! Kakuzu mentally scolded himself to stop thinking like that. Sure all of the other Akatsuki loved their partners, but that didn't mean he had to. This is an evil organization, not a dating service!

Deidara walked up to a booth, and the rest followed. It was a fortunes booth. The lady working there looked anything but a fortunes teller. She had her hair up in a spiky ponytail and she had a very smug 'look at me, I'm so hot and cool, whatcha' gonna do' kind of smile. She almost looked like a snake, but, anyway…

"Heeey there!" she smiled wider, " The name's Anko, how's about I give you love birds a fortune?"

All of them except Deidara blushed. Deidara eagerly pulled Sasori to him, and pushed Hidan and Kakuzu together. The couple blushed, while Anko took Deidara and Sasori's hands and pretended to do some mystic thing…

"Hah! You two will have a nice, compassionate relationship…" She smirked at the blood red Sasori and Deidara.

"Come on, guys, un!" he shoved Hidan and Kakuzu up to the psychic. Deidara looked back to the redhead and winked, Sasori, in turn, held up a "thumbs' up" sign. Deidara had a special plan for those two. He could tell that they'd be great together. He'd make sure they'd be great together! If he couldn't make them realize that tonight, them he'd never blow anything up until they hooked up, and that's serious!

"Aaahhh…" Anko mused, as the two new partners blushed awkwardly. " You two…will having a really loving relationship….how sweet!"

That did it. Both of them let go of each other's hands and stalked off to where Deidara and Sasori stood giggling. Hidan slapped Deidara on his head, and Kakuzu glared at Sasori so hard it may have killed him.

"Aw, come on!" Deidara nudged the pair. "You know every partner is bound to fall each other, un!" This did nothing to help the situation.

"Well, Jashin doesn't allow love!" Hidan said, shocking Deidara a bit.

"Aaawww….but, Hidan, love is awesome, un!"

"Deidara…" Sasori said behind him, "…you sound like a motivational speaker."

"Besides," they turned to hear Kakuzu speak, finally, " it's his deal whether his god is sappy or not…" Although he didn't show it, Kakuzu was a bit disheartened by what Hidan had said. _I suppose… I do kind of, sort of, maybe… like the stupid priest…just a little…anyway. But… no! Love is weak! Weak! Get over it, Kakuzu! _

Hidan was gloomy too. He admired Kakuzu; he was big and strong, he was wealthy, he was kind of cute with how easily he got embarrassed. He'd never admit it, of course. _I suppose that I kinda…sorta…maybe like this stupid heathen…or something…oh, why Jashin, why?! Why can't you actually have something against love?! I don't want to be in love, it just makes you weak! _

Deidara wasn't going to give up that easily, not in a million years! He took Hidan by his hand and dragged him off. Once they were away from the others, he stared right at him, making Hidan feel a bit uncomfortable. The next words out of the blonde's mouth caught Hidan off guard so much that he would have fallen if Deidara was not still holding him.

"Just say you love him, un!"

" What in Jashin's name are you talking about?!?"

"Hm," Deidara grinned smugly, " Everybody knows you two are good together, un! Besides, the way you two blush whenever someone suggests you're a couple is proof, un!"

Hidan blushed, confused and embarrassed. "…that's $!$…" Deidara smirked wider, and Hidan obliged by blushing more. "..well…he is…ok, I guess."

"Oh, come on, un!" the bomber screamed, " Just say it!! Say it, or I'll say it to him myself, un!"

"Rrgh, Stupid blonde! I like him, ok?! He's cool, you happy, #$$?!?"

"Hmm, very happy, dope, un!" Deidara smiled, wishing Kakuzu would have heard that.

Back at where Kakuzu and Sasori were, things weren't going any smoother. Kakuzu looked ready to explode, and Sasori looked ready as well.

"Just admit that you like that priest, Kakuzu! Be grown up about it!"

" Just because everyone else likes each other doesn't mean that I have to as well!"

"Oh no, you don't have to… but you do!"

"Ugh! Shut up, redhead! Fine, I'll admit it! I love that stupid Priest!…I love him…you happy, shrimp?!?"

"…I would have been much happier if you had not just called me 'shrimp', you love-sick giant!"

Hidan and Deidara walked back to find Kakuzu and Sasori going at each other's throats. They were shouting incoherent threats at the other, and Deidara and Hidan rushed up to break it up.

" Hey!! BREAK IT UP, UN!!" Deidara yelled as he yanked Sasori off Kakuzu.

"Yeah, YOU #!$$, SHUT THE !#$ UP!!!" Hidan screamed as he grabbed Kakuzu.

Both blushed wildly, and the other two did so as well when their anger cleared and they came back to reality. They were both holding their partners, with a firm grip…and the rest of Akatsuki was standing right there, watching.

"Uuuhh…we came to see what all the noise was about…" said Leader, stepping up. " …but….we can just leave you guys alone…if you want…" even he had a light blush on his face. However, Konan seemed amused.

"Hey," she said, cutting through the tension. " I… have a better idea… why don't…we all go and…ha ha…watch the fireworks together." She winked, a light blush on her face.

The Akatsuki sat up on a roof, gazing anxiously up to the stars. Around them were more Konoha couples, huddled close together in the cold night air. Hidan looked around, seeing everyone cuddling. The air was chilly, he'd admit that, but he wasn't about to loose all of his pride by snuggling with his indifferent, ruthless partner.

Kakuzu glanced here and there, jealous of the others. He, himself, was not cold in the least. However, he noticed his partner shivering violently. He could tell that the other man didn't want to show how cold he was, but, it only stood to reason; he had his bare chest out, his sleeves were short, and his hair was smoothed back. Hidan felt Kakuzu's stare and turned towards him.

"What?" he stated simply. His shivering never stopped.

"Huhhh…" Kakuzu sighed and pulled his partner closer. Hidan blushed outrageously, and Kakuzu looked up, red.

"Wha-what are you-"

"Shut up, you were shivering like a baby…"

"Huh, was not!"

"…" Kakuzu glanced at his indignant partner… he was quite cute. " be quiet… the fireworks are starting…dope."

Everyone looked up at the fireworks exploding in the night sky. Hidan no longer felt the chill of the air, but his face was red enough to keep him warm, though, he didn't complain any more.

_Well, _the silver haired man thought, _maybe… this won't be such a drag…for a while…I suppose. Maybe this organization will be… a little more interesting… with Deidara… and…Kakuzu. _

_---------------------------------------------_

**A/N: **Well…….I was TOTALLY hyper when I wrote this… so… more fluffy stuff. I hope it isn't too fluffy. I don't want to have this be a fluffy-wuffy-bubbly little fairytale. O.0;………..that last sentence there really scared me…."fluffy-wuffy-bubbly'?!?! that's weird….as u can tell, I'm STILL hyper!!!!……………….must…write…more O.O.

Ch. 7. Do I have to spell it out for you?

"Sooo…" Deidara inquired. " Have you told him yet, un?" a smirk was on his girlish face, as a not-so-light blush appeared on Hidan's face.

"…no."

"Well, TELL HIM!! Soon, or he may think you don't wuuuuve him, un!" He said in a girlish voice, taunting the priest by clasping his hands together and looking lovey-dovey.


	7. Chapter 7: Do I have to spell it

Well, to make up for the fluffyness of the last ch, here's a more...intense one.

--

"The Priest"

Ch. 7. Do I have to spell it out for you?

The Akatsuki's eventful night in Konoha had done a lot more than just make an awkward scene between the priest and the treasurer of Akatsuki. As Leader had said, Naruto and Gaara had been there and they had learned some valuable information. The Leader and his girlfriend had gone off to plan, having ordered the rest of Akatsuki, who still had nothing to do, to take advantage of this rest time.

However, things weren't exactly 'restful' for Hidan.

"Sooo…" Deidara inquired. " Have you told him yet, un?" a smirk was on his girlish face, as a not-so-light blush appeared on Hidan's face.

"…no."

"Well, TELL HIM!! Soon, or he may think you don't wuuuuve him, un!" He said in a girlish voice, taunting the priest by clasping his hands together and looking lovey-dovey.

"Argh! Shut the & UP!! I told you, Jashin-sama is against love! It makes you &# weak!" He explodes with frustration at the bomber.

Deidara, however, was ready for such a break out. He, too, glared defiantly at the silver-haired man. " Look, every other member and their partner are together, un! Can't your God make an exception?!"

"Ha!" Hidan spat rebelliously, " Lord Jashin, make an exception?! Hahaha! #! Just because every other # in this place is hooked up, doesn't mean anything!!"

"Well, if you ask me, that's just stupid, un!" The blonde pouted, not realizing what he was saying, " If your so-called almighty god will barely let you live, he seems pretty darn stupid, un!"

Deidara noticed the unusual silence from his friend, and chanced a look up. What he saw scared him, he felt like he was going to be dead in the next five seconds and if looks could kill, he would have. Hidan had a full on death glare on his face. He looked angry enough to slaughter a whole town.

"&…" he muttered in a dark tone, "… never, EVER talk about Jashin-sama like that, #." With that, Hidan stormed out of the room, eyes blazing.

"Hidan, un!" Deidara chased him into the Akatsuki's living room. Everyone was currently sitting around, curious at what the two loudmouths could be doing now.

"SHUT THE # UP, #!" he yelled, looking back.

"Look, all I'm saying is that, god that doesn't let you do normal things like like someone isn't a very good god, un! Why are you so faithful to that weird Jashin, un?!"

This did nothing to help Hidan's mood at all. "&! What do you know of what Jashin-sama has done for me?! I am loyal because Lord Jashin is a great god!"

The other Akatsuki, now, could surely feel Hidan's blood lust. They were surprised, really. Up until now, none of them had even gotten to see him fight yet. Seeing him so angry was new. Even so, they felt they had to step in and stop it. Sasori and Kakuzu, being their partners, stepped up.

"What's going on here?" Sasori asked, seeming almost bored.

"Nothing! I just said it was stupid not to be able to be normal! His stupid god barely lets him do anything, un!"

"Take that back, &#&#!" Hidan barked back at the blonde.

"No, un! I don't think it's fair!" Deidara was just as defiant as the priest, and was not going to back down until Hidan admitted he was right.

Hidan glared demonically at his friend. Neither Sasori nor Kakuzu failed to notice his malice. Though, Kakuzu thought, even when he's angry… he looks almost angelic all the time. He's like an avenging angel with anger flaring; the stitched man couldn't help but think.

"…you will feel Jashin's power." His voice dripped with threat.

Kakuzu and Sasori rushed to restrain their partners, grabbing them in headlocks. As they struggled to keep hold, the two tried to calm their partners.

"Hidan!" Kakuzu growled in his partner's ear, " Calm the # down! Get a hold of yourself!"

The priest finally realized what was happening. His face reddened, not from anger, as the other's thought, but from his partner. That stupid heathen! He silently scolded. Why, dear Jashin! "Argh! Let me go!"

"Not until you cool down! You were about to kill Deidara, weren't you?!" he looked warily at his partner.

"I was just going to show him the true power of Jashin! If he dies during it, well, that's not my fault if he's weak!" This particular statement angered the terrorist, making him struggle against Sasori's grip.

"You wanna fight, pretty boy?!" Deidara challenged Hidan.

"Heh," he smirked maliciously, " bring it, girl!" He was satisfied to see the blonde as red as he was. That is, until his partner harshly tightened his grip. "Wh-what are you doing?!"

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes, his face as close to the dangerous priest to get the point across, " Calm the down, or I'll snap your neck."

All the Akatsuki, as amused as they were, for this was the first interesting thing to happen on vacation, knew that Kakuzu wasn't making an empty threat.

As if things weren't dangerous enough, Leader and Konan just happened to choose that particular moment to walk in the door. Of course, not knowing the details of just how this came up, it was a little awkward for them.

"What is going on here? Something we should know about?" Leader interrogated. He looked over at Kakuzu, practically chocking Hidan already. "Kakuzu, must I remind you not to kill your partners… especially not Hidan, I'm not sure it's so wise to try and kill him."

"…we haven't even seen him fight before, Leader-sama…" Itachi commented, " So how would we know?" his tone was almost mocking, irritating Leader somewhat.

"Hmm…" he seemed to mull it over. He closed his eyes, and announced, " Fine then, we do need something exciting around here, with all this time off… Hidan and Deidara!" He barked, staring at the friends. " You will have a battle tomorrow." With that, he and his partner left.

The others looked mildly surprised, while at the same time, excited. They all left with their partners, talking about how they thought the battle would turn out. The living was empty, leaving only the feuding friends and their partners. Sasori loosened his grip and took Deidara to their room. Kakuzu, lower his face to his partner's level, whispered a 'You got lucky…' and loosened his grip as well. Hidan quickly shuffled past him, face bright red, in the hall, passing the redhead and blonde as well. Kakuzu stopped at Sasori and Deidara, a questioning look on his face. "What's with him?"

Deidara let out a small, knowing smirk. " Ha! Don't tell me you don't know, un."

"What, it's about you, right?" He was completely clueless.

"Nope!" He blushed and smiled as he went into their room.

Sasori only looked at Kakuzu, pink tinting his cheeks. " Just… go after him."

--

**A/N: **Well, this is REALLY turning out COMPLETELY different from my original story line ; So, I'm just making it up as I go along now, cuz my original plan is completely over ruled now…..I'm such an idiot .;

Ch. 8: His Devine Curse

This battle, though he'd never admit it, was exactly what Kakuzu needed right now. It finally gave him a chance to get to know exactly what he was partner was made of…….and the fact that he could make some money off of bets wasn't exactly bad either.


	8. Chapter 8: His divine curse

I'M UBBER-SPECTACULAR-OH-MY-JASHIN-SOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!

**REASON:** I got into Organization XIII and imediately fell in love with them all X3 So, i felt like doigmn stuff them only, & i wasn;t inspired to do Naruto! X0

But, i wanted to practice batel scenes So, i felt i've been more than unfair to make you Naruto fans wait!! SUMIMASEN!!

"MUI IMPORTANTE!!" as another extra, check out my deviantART page for a cover for the story!! The link to my DA account will be on my account here, and you'll be able to tell which deviation it is 3

--

Ch.8: His Devine Curse

The day was starting out a bit rocky. The tension between the two former friends was thick, most of the blood lore coming from the angered priest.

Deidara stood on the rocky terrain, preparing his stock of clay and stealing glances at his friend. Hidan seemed almost anxious; like he was excited for the battle. Now, they were almost all a little antsy for some good fighting, but Hidan seemed to…..crave the fight…like his life was all about that fight. It was almost scary.

_Well, I'm gonna let him get me, un! _Deidara gave himself a mental pep rally. _Yeah! That creepy bishi, un!_

Hidan also prepared for battle, shining his scythe, and mumbling something to his rosary.

This battle, though he'd never admit it, was exactly what Kakuzu needed right now. It finally gave him a chance to get to know exactly what his partner was made of…….and the fact that he could make some money off of bets wasn't exactly bad either.

_Hmm…he's certainly got some blood lore going on there…_the stitched man thought quietly, already preparing his mental break down of the priest. _Let's see, he's brash, rude, has a cursing problem, is annoying as hell, yet still I…love him. _He sighed, there really was no fooling his own self, he was attracted to the silver haired man, though the reason why was beyond him. Just as he began to run his mental list of his partner's attributes again, he was interrupted by the sight of Leader coming onto the battle scene.

Leader glanced about at the two rouge ninja, then promptly tuned to the 'audience'. He walked over and took his place behind Konan. "Let it begin."

"Katsu!" The bomber yelled as he launched a small bird at his opponent. It exploded in a small cloud of fire and smoke, just enough cover for him to get out his larger bird and launch himself into the sky. He glanced down at the after math, hopes being crushed as what met his gaze.

Hidan didn't bother to dodge the first attack, instead standing in the smoke cover and waiting until he heard Deidara over him. His actions were a bit slow, but powerful as he swung up his three bladed scythe directly above him.

_Claaang!_

_Ha! A hit. Now let's see some blood…_ The pries grinned, intent on getting to his opponent's blood. When the smoke had cleared, he noticed that nothing was stained crimson, but rather brown…clay brown.

_&#! That clay, I swear I'm gonna get rid of that annoying stuff… _He readied himself for another swing, taking a few steps further.

_Gah!_ Deidara cursed himself for forgetting about the scythe. As he saw the man in position again, he shoved his hands into the clay pouches at his sides. _Not this time, bishi, un!_

The two clay figures flew down at the priest, growing larger as they fell. He jumped quickly above them, ultimately getting the after math of the explosion. The rough wind blew him down, landing on his side, just narrowly missing his scythe. Deidara was looking more confident now. The man swung down on his bird, ready to make the finishing blow.

"Uuugh!" The bomber gasped as a sudden impact was made with his stomach. Hidan had managed to get back up by kicking his friend in the gut, and now he was running towards him with his weapon raised. He stopped, hand swung back, and let his scythe lose with the rope attached to it. The Jashinist smiled at the shocked face of his former comrade.

The impact of the three blades collided with the side of the blonde's arm, making him howl in a moment of pain.

"Aaargh!" Deidara winced at the sharpened blade. He couldn't dodge.

"Ha ha ha ha!" The priest had a sadistic smile across his face, as he gazed at the man on the ground. "Now, let us endure sublime suffering!"

On the sidelines, everyone had placed their bets before it began, and some of them were having second thoughts. Almost all of them had bet on Deidara, expecting a terrorist bomber to triumph over a beat a possibly psychopathic priest. Kakuzu was quiet though, still studying his partner. _His movements are slow, but he uses his three blades as an advantage. They don't seem to cut too deep, though. Why is he so happy? Wait a minute…_ it seemed that almost everyone was wondering the same thing, _did he just say let '_us_'_ _endure suffering?_

All eyes were on Hidan as he held his blood tipped weapon above his head, getting ready to swing it down on Deidara. The blonde panicked, but quickly got to his feet and backed up a few steps to throw a new clay model at his silver haired torturer. They flew true, going straight for the head and neck…

_Cclaanggg!_

_Krraaboom!_

The scythe swatted them away just before they made contact, making them explode on contact.

"Hn," Hidan looked at Deidara with distaste as he spoke " Not very # patient, huh? Can't you just wait for me to get the ritual ready, #?"

"Huh, yeah right! You crazy, un?!" He shot back, a bit angry at being asked to 'wait' for his opponent to get his death planned out.

"Look who's talkin', heathen!" He glanced at the blood on the tip of his weapon and sighed. "Great, I'm gonna need more blood."

"You ain't getting any of mine, un!" His rage ignited again, the bomber threw several clay spiders at Hidan.

Again, the priest didn't make an attempt to dodge. Instead he used the same tactic as the beginning of the fight and launched his three blades at his foe and gave more leave on the rope as the target backed up, making contact with his stomach, slicing it and pouring blood.

"Ha ha ha ha! Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, &!" He yanked his scythe back and swung it around himself, splattering the blood. His foot moved in a similar circle, smoothing out eh circle and tracing a triangle in the middle.

_The same as his rosary…_ Kakuzu thought to himself as he watched the man bring the scythe blade up to his lips now.

Deidara, from his formerly pain-ridden position on the ground, flung a few more birds at the man as his weapon was held to his tongue. The ninja on the sides looked, a bit shocked, as he began to lick the remaining blood off the tip. The targets hit their mark again, as Deidara got up to a crouching position, checking his stomach wound.

_Not too bad, un…_ He thought, as suddenly he felt a pain shoot through his body. He clutched at his shoulders and arms, feeling as if they were on fire. "Aaahh!"

The others' shocked expressions were on the blonde's sudden out burst until the smoke cleared, to show a much more shocking thing. Hidan stood there, shoulders and arms burned, scythe held in front of him. As he lifted his head, all could see that his entire body was black with the odd white markings on it. As they stared closer, they noticed that the white marks were, in fact, markings for where the bones were. Even his face was marked with the outline of its structure.

Deidara stared at the man before him, seeming more shocked than the ninja on he sides. He felt as if he facing the grim reaper…

Said 'reaper' grinned widely, his purple eyes holding a glint of death in them. "Now you shall face His divine judgment!!"

He swung the scythe once again in a large downward sweep.

_Sshhhaang!_

Blood spattered everywhere. The onlookers where taken aback by what eh priest had done. There, in his stomach, was his scythe. All three blades were pushed through his body, dripping in his own dark, crimson blood. On his face was a smile of pure masochistic enjoyment. Deidara was huddled over in pain, coughing up blood in the process.

"Hn…" the now skeletal like priest's grin faded as he stood over his friend. "Well…now do you understand to the power of Jashin?" His voice was between a whisper and a low hiss as his death-ridden eyes stared down upon the form of the bomber. "Or do you want me to show you some more?" His expression was completely unreadable as he uttered this phrase. After a few more moments of silence, he brought his scythe up as he rubbed the back of his head. "Well," he spat out a bit of blood in his mouth, now dripping from his self-inflicted wound. "Jashin-sama is feeling benevolent today, you're lucky…" He yanked the bomber up, then wrenched the scythe out of his gut. "…he sees more use for you." He walked over to the where everyone else was sitting, making his way past them and into the head quarters. "Well, you & comin' or not, &#?"

The still injured blonde lightened up at this, and the friends followed each other in doors, talking animatedly, yet still with a touch of violence about the fight.

Those left out side after a few more minutes were Sasori, Leader, Konan, and Kakuzu. Shortly after dismissing himself from the group, Sasori left to seek out his partner and Konan lost interest and made her way inside. Now, it was only the accountant and the leader.

"So, Kakuzu," The man began, "Do you now know why this man is to be your partner?" With the last words leaving his mouth, he too took his leave and left the stitched man to himself.

_Huh, so…that's why…_ Kakuzu got up and slowly walked indoors, thoughts of the immortal man running through his mind.

--

_A/N: And because I kept you waiting Soooooooooooo long, here's a longer extra!_

Deidara and Hidan sat in silence, a very rare thing for the two. As they dressed their wounds, Hidan glanced over to the man on his right.

"Dei." He said, voice even. No response. "Dei." Again, "Dei…"

_Thump!_

"Oooowwww, UN!!" The brooding blonde whined at the smack upside his head form the priest. "What'd you do that for, unnn??"

"Why the & are you pouting about?!"

"Hmmm!" The two glared childishly at each other as Deidara swatted at the man. "Well, why don't you tell me, un?! You nearly killed for fun, un!"

"Well, do ya gotta be so huffy aobut it?!"

"Well, excuuuse me, Mr. Skeleton! I think I have a right to be mad at almost getting killed, un!"

He whipped around, glaring into thin air as the priest blankly glared at the back of his head.

"Well…will blowing me up help?" his tone held a touch of sarcasm.

"Heheheh" Deidara's eye held an evil glint as he held the small clay bird in his hand…

Hidan ran like crazy down the hall, right into Kakuzu.

Ch.9: Jashin's Follower


	9. Chapter 9: Jashin's follower

_**YES! The story did not die!!! I'M SO UBER-TASTICALLY SORRY!!!!!!! Truth is, I wasn't going to finish this, but I know how it is when you read a story you really like (still don't know why you like this) and it's discontinued. So, FOR YOU!!!!!**_

YUP! I'm going to FINISH THE STORY!!!!

& PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES!? I'm trying to get the last couple of chapters up for y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I've never written shounen ai………….**Pairings- the pairings requested were: HidaKuzu, SasoDei, PeiNan.

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Ch.9: Jashin's Follower

Deidara and Hidan sat in silence, a very rare thing for the two. As they dressed their wounds, Hidan glanced over to the man on his right.

"Dei." He said, voice even. No response. "Dei." Again, "Dei…"

_Thump!_

"Oooowwww, UN!!!" The brooding blonde whined at the smack upside his head form the priest. "What'd you do that for, unnn??!!"

"Why the &*$% are you pouting about?!"

"Hmmm!" The two glared childishly at each other as Deidara swatted at the man. "Well, why don't you tell me, un?! You nearly killed for fun, un!"

"Well, do ya gotta be so huffy aobut it?!?!"

"Well, excuuuse me, Mr. Skeleton! I think I have a right to be mad at almost getting killed, un!"

He whipped around, glaring into thin air as the priest blankly glared at the back of his head.

"Well…will blowing me up help?" his tone held a touch of sarcasm.

"Heheheh" Deidara's eye held an evil glint as he held the small clay bird in his hand…

Hidan ran like crazy down the hall, right into Kakuzu.

"Hey! Watch where you're going, f----r!" The silvery haired one yelled, not seeing who had run into him. Looking up in a furious glare, he soon let his expression fall a little, staring confusion at the other.

Kakuzu quickly grabbed his wrist to keep him from falling, tugging him up a little too hard, making their faces almost touch. He looked back down at him, eyes slightly shocked at the new information of his immortality. He had been thinking of it ever since the fight ended, just another time his thoughts were consumed by his partner. Running into Hidan hadn't been exactly short of a surprise, not really paying attention to his surroundings. "Hidan…" he started.

"I'm gonna gettacha, un!!!!" Deidara yelled, breaking the two's little encounter. The Iwa was clearly ready to bomb, holding the bird in his hand high, and a grin plastered on his face. However, at seeing the two so close, the blond mental smacked himself silly, stopping dead in his tracks. "Uh…" Standing awkwardly there, not moving, he tried to reverse all that had just happened…obviously failing. "I…um…I'm suddenly deathly hungry, un! I should probably get to the kitchen before it kills me! Goodbye, hmm!" He shouted, dashing off to the kitchen in hopes that they would 'continue'.

As the Zombie couple stared after the retreating bomber, they stood there as awkwardly as he had. After a while, both of them looked almost reluctantly back at each other. Kakuzu stared down at Hidan, Hidan stared back up, and the two took to glaring at each other halfheartedly.

It was Hidan, not surprisingly, that broke the silence. "What the f--k are you doing, d-----s?"

Kakuzu blinked, looking down at the priest as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I caught you…so you wouldn't fall."

Another silence filled the hall, this time Hidan was mumbling, yanking his wrist form the other's grasp. "Why? It would have hurt like a b---h…" Clearing his throat, he blushed as he gave the other one last look, heading too calmly down to the kitchen. "Gonna make sure…Deidara doesn't, like, blow up his food in his face…or something."

As the man mumbled the short departure, the miser stood there, eyes gleaming. He had seen that blush on his partner's face. Even f it was only a chance, it was still a chance, a chance that Hidan could be his…with some 'persuading'.

He headed in the opposite direction, to his room. All the while, a plan started forming in his head.

It was true that Hidan was gorgeous, the only thing that marred his complexion was his mouth, but it was starting to grow on Kakuzu. His partner was strong, cocky, and childish. Along with that, he was a masochist; Kakuzu was a sadist. Even better, Hidan was immortal. Kakuzu couldn't kill him, and if he hurt him, the magenta-eyed man would _enjoy_ it. Certainly something to pursue.

However, there was that d----d religion of his…'Jashin does not allow love' and all that. '_Hmm…he follows that "God" so blindly, it might be a problem.'_ he thought in contemplation, _' There must be a way around it…' _

Closing the door to the dim room, he took his desk chair out and sat down abruptly. The stitched man's mind raced with plans.

'_Yes, Hidan _will _be mine…or he won't be anyone's…'_

-----------------

"Why'd you follow me, un?!?!?!"

That was the lovely greeting that awaited Hidan when he stepped into the kitchen. Growing angry, he shot back a curse word, not knowing what to say. The blush was still on his face, thinking of how close he had been to Kakuzu.

Ignoring the other, Deidara went back to ranting. "I left so you two could be alone _together, _hmm! You could have totally had a moment there!" Getting lost in his romances. "I can see it now, un. You two would have been standing there, staring deeply into each other's eyes, you blushing like the bishi you are! Kakuzu says soothing smooth, you pout like a kid," He mumbled quickly "No offence, but you do that a lot…" before going on, "You'd say something, he'd say something, then before you know it! Kiss! Love!" Turning angrily to Hidan again, bellowing another "Why? Why did you ruin my drea…I mean _your_ dream, un?!"

"Shut up!!!" He yelled back, blushing furiously now. At affectively making the man stop, Hidan quickly processed all of his words and got indignant yet again. That seemed to be happening a lot. "Ah! How could you even think of something like that?! That's never gonna happen! Jashin does not approve! I'm a follower for Jashin, d--- it!" Looking down in pout, he muttered darkly, "And I do not pout that often!"

Recovering form the yelling, Deidara smirked smugly, seeing the blush and pout. The way he saw it, those two should be together, it was obvious. The only problem was making them realize it…

------------

Kakuzu had a plan, and even though it was something he didn't normally want to do…he'd do it.

As if an opportunity sent from some higher power, Hidan happened to storm into their room at that moment. "No good, stupid, f-----g blond!" He cursed as the miser sat staring at him. Obviously ruffled by the blonde's idiotic dreaming, Hidan was in no mood to talk. Feeling the need to get away from the others, he decided it was a good idea to sleep. Why, he didn't really know…maybe because they might have the decency to not bother someone if they're asleep? Huh, he highly doubted that…especially because he didn't abide that 'rule' him self. None-the-less, the zealot through off his pants, tossing them carelessly on the floor. Climbing into bed, he pulled the covers over him with more force than needed, too riled up to care.

Needless to say, the banker was…pleasantly surprised at this display. He found himself suddenly thanking whatever fate that had made his partner so careless about being fully clothed. Feeling his plan could be more easily attained than he had originally thought, Kakuzu sauntered over to the bed, clicking the lamp on. It made Hidan grumble in response, turning away form the bright light. _'Great, now he's cute too…'_ Kakuzu grumbled in his head. Thinking his plan over, the Taki nin quickly made the move before he could regret it.

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**A/N:** SORRY IT'S SHORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Truth is, this chapter was supposed to be longer.........but the cliff hanger was too good to pass up :3

_**Continued from the inspiration of the Immortal Arc in the anime!!!!!!!! *May the Zombie twins rest in peace ;**__**.....................and then come back magically and kick eveyone's butts!!!!!!!!!! :D**_

Preview: Chapter 10: ??????

Hidan stared disbelievingly up at his partner. What he had just done...what had just happened...he never thought it would. Though he was a bit suspicous as to the motives behind it, the happiness swelling in his chest made the immortal jump out of bed, going over to his partner. "Really, Kakuzu?!"


	10. Chapter 10: For the love of

YUP! I'm going to FINISH THE STORY!!!!

& PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES!? I'm trying to get the last couple of chapters up for y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I've never written shounen ai………….**Pairings- the pairings requested were: HidaKuzu, SasoDei, PeiNan.

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Chapter 10: For the love of

Before he could regret his actions, Kakuzu put the first part of his plan into motion. Leaning down closer to the immortal, his lips parted.

To whisper. "Hidan? Can I see that Jashin bible of yours?"

"What?" He mumbled, peeking out through the covers disbelievingly. A sneer grew on his face, the priest glaring up at Kakuzu. "No way I'm gonna give it you! You'll probably sell it, f----r!"

"No," the Taki ninja said with a sigh, trying to keep a kind tone, hoping that it might persuade the Jashinist more than yelling. "I want to…read it."

Hidan stared disbelievingly up at his partner. What he had just done...what had just happened...he never thought it would. Though he was a bit suspicious as to the motives behind it, the happiness swelling in his chest made the immortal jump out of bed, going over to his partner. "Really, Kakuzu?!"

He was a bit shocked that it made Hidan so happy, but the stitched man couldn't deny it was cute. Watching as Hidan rummaged through his drawers, pulling out a tattered book. Dusting it off gently for any layer of dust that might be on there; though Kakuzu thought it was highly unlikely, Hidan took more care of that than Deidara did his clay. "Yes, really," he said after a while, taking the bible as Hidan handed trotted over with excitement.

"So does that mean," he started with a smile, "that you're thinking of converting?! Seriously, that would be the s--t! "

"Yes…" He drawled out, a bit embarrassed. Turning the light off again, he mumbled to Hidan before heading for the room door. "Now go to sleep…you look tired." With that, he walked out of the room, making a bee-line for one of the people that he knew would be, as much as he hated it, willing to help him.

-------

Walking into the living room, Kakuzu found just the person he was looking for. Deidara.

Taking a deep breath, and hoping that nothing would make him regret it. Sauntering over to the Iwa nin, he sat down next to him on the couch. Waiting for the other to take notice.

It had taken a little longer than the Taki ninja had hoped, but after he had finally cleared his throat…five times, the blond managed to look up for the wad of clay he was messing with. "Hmm? What is it, Kakuzu, un?"

He looked hesitantly into Deidara's eyes, feeling himself starting to regret the plan. _'No! Hidan is too good to let go…' _"Deidara," the man started, sounding as professional as he could. "I have noticed…certain signs of you and your partner taking an interest in my partner and I." Gulping down the embarrassment, Kakuzu continued on the business negotiation. "I, too, as your partner has probably told you…have a certain interest in my partner. If you are willing to help me in my-"

"Finally, un!" the shout cut him short on his little speech, but seeing the blond more than eager to help made up for it…perhaps it wouldn't be so embarrassing after all.

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The morning light sifted smoothly through the Akatsuki base, shedding light on the otherwise dark, glum place. The outside was coated with the same brilliant light; birds were chirping in the early sun, flapping through trees and dipping just above the river. It seemed that the other animals sensed this peace of the day and scurried on their way to and fro throughout the woods as well. All was calm and bright; a rather cheery ring to the air.

"Shut the f—k up, you m----------rs! When I get my hands on you, b---hes, I'm gonna rip you to shreds and hang you with your own filthy guts!"

A lovely morning indeed.

The masochistic zealot had been greeted that morning with the simple song of birds, blaring light, and all of the afore mentioned happiness….he was pissed.

Hiding himself beneath the covers, Hidan tried his best to block out all of the outside, refusing to wake yet; especially not to _that._ Mumbling obscure blasphemies to no one in particular, he forced himself to get back to sleep.

"Hidan!!!"

_'Just. F-----g. Perfect.'_

"Hidan, wake up you lazy bones, un!" The voice belonged, not surprisingly, to none-other than Deidara. "Get up, hmm! I need you to come to here, there's something important I need to tell you! "

"Tell me here, moron…or better yet, just shut the f—k up!" he grumbled, not wanting to deal with it.

"But Hidaaaaa, it's really important, un. It's…uh…so important that I can't tell you here. Yeah, it's so fantastic…that we have to go somewhere as wonderful as the news, 'cause anything else would pale in its artistic…good…news…yeah."

"Well 'boo-f-----g-who-f-----g-you'!" The priest yelled, temper starting to flare. "Tell me here, or don't tell me at all!"

Feeling defeated, Deidara stood silent for a few seconds, scheming on how he could get the other out of bed. Not really coming up with any ideas, the bomber simply settled for the easiest plan of attack…or so he thought.

------------------------------

"Put me down, you blond a----t!"

"Stop struggling, un, you brought this upon yourself!"

And so it was that morning that everyone in the living room was confronted with a very disgruntled priest being dragged forcibly down the hall by a struggling terrorist bomber. The two were making a ruckus, annoying some of the less social of the group…that is, all but one. The one that had been in cahoots with the afore mentioned bomber. Kakuzu.

He sat in a lone chair, glasses on and Jashin bible perched on his knee, watching the exchange between the two friends. The other night when Deidara had teamed up to get Hidan to fall for Kakuzu, they had stayed up most of the night scheming. Kakuzu, in attempt to remove one obstacle, had gotten the bible to scan through the rules. This was purely for the sake of finding any loopholes around rules of romance, but it had come as a great surprise and shock to him to find no rules specifically addressing such affairs.

----------

"That's odd," he mumbled to himself, skimming the Jashinist's bible for rules of love. He had been sure Deidara was still talking about something in the background, but after a while the stitched man had decided to put his plan in motion. Only now did he find that his objective; to find loopholes around some rules of Jashin, had been easier than expected.

_"What, un?" _

_Looking over to the other slightly, he seemed skeptical. "There's nowhere in here that says anything directly against 'romance'." _

_Deidara made a surprised face, which quickly turned into a mischievous grin. "Ooooooohhh! He's in trouble, un!"_

_"What are you talking about, Deidara?" He didn't feel like playing guessing games, this was a serious plan._

_Giggling, the Iwa pointed a finger at the bible. "Hidan said there was a rule against love, hmm? But…there isn't!" An agitated 'hurry up!' growled from Kakuzu's mouth, making the bomber continue. "Well, that means he's hiding something…and I know what it is!"_

_"What?!" His patient was wearing thinner by the minute._

_Deidara looked smugly at Kakuzu, sitting up straight as if in triumph. "Remember that day Danna told you to confess your love, hmm?"_

_"Yes…" the man drawled out, not yet getting the point. "Hey, wait a minute. Did you set that up, Deidara?!" _

_"Yup! But, not the point…Well, I told Hidan to do the same thing, hmm!" Seeing the suspense building in the other's eyes, he leaned in, like he was telling a secrect. "He likes you, un!"_

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Even the memory made one of his hearts skip; just the thought that his goal was so attainable…but Hidan was also very stubborn. Sitting and watching as Deidara struggled with pulling Hidan into the room, Kakuzu smirked at his object of affection.

Hidan was still clinging to the blanket, dragging it along with him as the other tugged. His hair was messed from the sleep…and no doubt the fact of being pulled along the lair floor, and…he was still in his boxers.

"Argh!" An angry growl erupted form the Jashinist's mouth, finally having the blond let go of him. Lying there, in the middle of the hall in between the living room and kitchen, the silvery haired man soon felt the stares boring into him. Whipping his in the direction of the others, he shot them all glares before getting up, brushing himself off. Not taking any care to cover up his barely clad form, Hidan simply slung the blanket over his shoulder and stalked into the kitchen.

Giving a quick wink to the banker, Deidara soon followed the pale man in.

"Oi, what the f—k did you want to tell me, damn it?!" The priest yelled impatiently as he rummaged through the Akatsuki cabinet.

"Oh, that?…um," Looking back at Kakuzu from the kitchen, the bomber tried to think of something quickly. "Oh…you see…Kakuzu needs you, un!" Racing out of the little space before the man could cuss him out, Deidara ran to Sasori.

All Kakuzu could do was glare frantically at the blond and his boyfriend while the priest flung out swear words at the both of them. Sitting still, trying to think of an idea, the miser felt Hidan stalking up behind him. Turning his head casually, he did his best to stay clam while looking at the infuriated face. "Yes…I would like your help on….a bounty." _Deidara will pay for that!_

Glaring seemed to have no affect on his money-grubbing partner, but that didn't stop Hidan. Not letting his expression slip one bit, the man bit out a low "fine, you f---tard. Better be quick." With that, he stalked back into the kitchen and ripped angrily through the food in the cabinet.

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The immortal's angry eating gave Kakuzu the time to shift through his bingo book, finding a rather nice bounty. _Hmm…perhaps I won't kill Deidara too soon. I get Hidan _and_ money…yes, Deidara will live…a bit longer. _Memorizing the page, he tucked it into his briefcase and grabbed his cloak.

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**A/N:** I wasn't gonna make it any more than 3 chapters more, but for you guys, I'll drag it out a bit longer~

**Ch. 11: Dysfunctional**

"Are you f—king serious?" The priest groaned, not wanting to believe his eyes. It was all just going so wrong today.

"Yes, Hidan. One bed, get over it."


	11. Chapter 11: Dysfunctional

A longer chapter this time?! YUP! :D

& PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES!? I'm trying to get the last couple of chapters up for y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I've never written shounen ai………….**Pairings- the pairings requested were: HidaKuzu, SasoDei, PeiNan.

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**Ch. 11: Dysfunctional**

The Zombie Brothers had set out on their impromptu mission not long after noon. Stepping out into the forest, Hidan shielded his eyes from the sun. It had been extra sunny that day, and darn it if the priest wouldn't take that as something to complain about.

"F—k! It's way too bright, Kakuzu."

"Hn."

"Oh sure, you're probably protected by that s—ty hood-thing you wear all the d—m time! I don't have anything! Kakuzu!"

"…"

"D—m it! Talk!"

"No."

"Ha!"

"…"

"You b-----d!"

And so the conversation went on. With that, their day of walking went by in a matter of a few hours, and before Hidan could complain for what seemed like a twelve hundredth time to Kakuzu, they found themselves stopping at an inn.

Walking inside, Hidan went off snooping through the lobby as Kakuzu stalked up to the clerk's desk. After a short exchange, he finally talked the price down, if only a little. Begrudgingly, the miser took out just enough money to pay for a single room, hoping it would all be worth it.

"Hidan, get over here! You're the one who wanted to stay in this over-priced excuse for an inn, get your ass over here! I'm not carrying you up to the d—n room!" He snapped, not pleased in the least to be spending money on something so trivial as the room.

Stalking over with a deep scowl and many mumbled curses, the priest obeyed his harsh orders and made his way up to their room. Not waiting for the miser to open the door completely, Hidan shoved him aside in a mad rush to jump on the sure-to-be soft bed. He ignored the loud grumbles from Kakuzu, too pleased with the thought of sleeping inside for once, and looked around eagerly to spot anything he might want 'dibs' on. As the immortal looked around, his eyes shine dulled a bit, smirk falling slightly.

"What?" The deep voice inquired grumpily behind him. Kakuzu already sort of knew what shock could earn that look from Hidan…"Oh." He said monotonously.

"Are you f—king serious?" The priest groaned, not wanting to believe his eyes. It was all just going so wrong today.

"Yes, Hidan. One bed, get over it."

With that, Kakuzu simply walked in, past Hidan, and set his briefcase down on the right side of the bed, taking off his shoes and cloak as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Hey!" Hidan snapped out of his trance, seeing that Kakuzu was already on the bed. "Save room for me, d—ba-s!" Running to the bed, he slung off his scythe and haphazardly flung his shoes away with his cloak, jumping on the bed. Grinning like an idiot, the silver-haired man seemed to have forgotten the dilemma of sharing a bed as he scrambled into a relaxed position next to his partner, laying down and almost instantly falling asleep, a small smile on his face.

All Kakuzu could do was stare and pass it off as some childish act. Giving a grunt meant to express 'Could you be anymore of a stupid child?', he silently thanked himself for still having his mask to hide his own small grin.

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An hour or so passed and Hidan had tossed and turned all throughout his sleep. He fidgeted around, mumbling gibberish and clinging to the blankets…and Kakuzu.

Aparently, the immortal was cold…or though Kakuzu was a giant, stitched pillow. Either way, the miser wasn't sure if he should be annoyed or embarrassed. Trying to regain the freedom of his arm, the Taki-nin did his best to not wake his partner. "Come on, Hidan!" he whispered fiercely, "…So d—n clingy!"

"Mm…" was the only reply, not really doing anything for Kakuzu's dilemma. The sleeping Jashinist only cuddled closer, pulling a pained face, his head resting against the miser's shirt.

The taller man was again thankful for his mask, as he felt his face heat up with Hidan so close to him, clinging to him. 'Well…I guess this is as good a chance as ever…' he thought solemnly to himself, taking advantage of the cuddling. Removing his mask and head rap, he shifted their position so they faced each other's side. Carefully, Kakuzu rested his arm over Hidan as well, fitting the other man in his arms once he was sure he was asleep. With his head resting on the soft, silver locks, the miser soon drifted off into sleep.

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_"Kakuzu…" he let the name slip off his tounge, feeling tears pour down his cheeks. He wasn't sure if it was the blinding, white light surrounding everything that was making his eyes sting; he tried to stop crying, still not all too sure why he was crying in the first place, except for the man in front of him._

_A face cam into view…a body, laying limp and bloody in front of him. An unknown fear hitched in his stomach as the Jashinist reached a bloodied, shaking hand out to it. "Kakuzu…" He repeated, grabbing a hold of the red stained shirt on the corpse. "Kakuzu…" Leaning bodily into the dead man, Hidan fought back more tears, finally grasping what was happening around him._

_He shook, clinging fast to that bloody body, praying to Jashin it was a cruel joke. "No! No, this isn't real!" the man chocked from some secret sorrow, "No! Kakuzu! No…" Snuggling closer and closer, he raked his stained fingers across the coarse, dead stitching. "Jashin-sama…Jashin? N-no…I…"_

_A sudden warmth enclosed around him, covering him from the harsh, white light. Now everything was black…utter black, not like the cold, white… but warm, black. It confused him…it made the tears come again…it drowned him. "K-kuzu!" Hidan cried out in vain, on impulse, "My…no…you aren't dead! You…can't be dead, you b-----d…you b-----d."_

_"…Kuzu…don't die. You can't die…not without…" Not bothering with his tears any longer, the Jashinist reached up and tangled his hands in black. Hoisting himself up to face his still partner with the rest of his energy, he faintly wondered just what he was doing. "Kuzu…" he whispered, his lips cut off as he leaned forward._

_-------------------------------------------------------------  
_

The faint warmth did not wake him, he was too far in his delightful dream to open his eyes and find out what it was. Though, it did feel good…leaning forward, Kakuzu tried to catch that warmth again. He tugged tighter around the other man, asleep as can be, thinking it were all part of his dream…perhaps.

Hidan was still in his tortured dream as well, not noticing that his 'dead' partner was kissing back. Wrapping his hands in that wonder tangle of black again, he felt desperate for…for what? Tossing the question away, the priest kissed back with more force, not wanting to break the sudden contact.

Kakuzu was just barely, slowly, slipping into consciousness. Not too bothered by the sudden disappearance of his dreamscape, the miser growled as the warmth kissed back stronger, taking it as a challenge. He fisted a handful of soft, silvery white, and yanked it back. The Taki-nin thought he heard a small gasp, acting automatically and leaning forward to barely open lips. By now his vision was returning to normalcy, the sleep running as a dark room formed around him…and the pale man under him.

The pain jolted Hidan out of his nightmares, driving a quick gasp from his lips before they were covered by warmth again. With eyes cracked open, still sleep laden, he tried to see beyond the haziness. Slowly, slowly, images began replacing that pure darkness…

With eyes wide and blood rushing, Hidan forced the kiss to break, trying weakly to pull from Kakuzu's grasp. "W-what the h—l?!" he yelled through a deep, crimson blush.

Reluctantly, the miser let Hidan break away, but his arms were still tight around the lithe frame, unwilling to let go. Feeling all his hope sink, Kakuzu simply stared down at the object of his affection. "Hidan…" he tried to say, faintly, but was drowned out by the loud priest.

"The h—l, man?! Why were you k-_kissing_ me? F—k!" Not knowing what to do, Hidan gained back his usual demeanor and began cussing to the heavens. "F—k! S—t! What the h—l were we…_you_ doing? F—king s—t! H—l! D—n!"

Seeing the look on Hidan's face was it for the tanned man; he let his eyes drop form that perfect, pale, angry face, and loosened his grip. He felt ashamed, though he didn't know why…he had enjoyed the kiss, perhaps more than he thought he would. Hidan, he was sure, was the one who started it…but he was so…so much _purer_ than Kakuzu. There's something the miser never thought he'd say. Compared to Hidan, he was an ugly, dirty, demon… "Go on…go Hidan…" the words fell quietly from his mouth, without even his permission.

"Y-you're d—n straight I'll g-" breaking off his tirade, the other looked up with still mad eyes, "Go?" he repeated. The words held a sense of foreboding on his lips, like it were some shun from the world.

There was a mutual silence through the little one-bed room. Through the dark, Hidan's magenta eyes tried in vain to connect with those glowing, green orbs. Kakuzu now felt almost ashamed of what they had done, as if Hidan had been a pure and holy god, and he…a lowly mortal. Feeling the air grow tense, both felt the need for sound.

"_You_ want _me_ to _go_?" Those first few words were not what Kakuzu had been praying for to break the silence. "After…after you were practically eating my face?! To go…_just like that_?!"

It seemed the miser's turn to grow angry. Whether it was from self anger or anger towards the priest, not even he knew, but as always, his temper rose. "_Yes_, Hidan! _Go_! Get out! If you're so appalled by it, _get out_!" Grabbing the disheveled, silver hair again, Kakuzu yanked the both of them off the bed, earning a surprised yelp from Hidan. With much protest and cursing from the man, the taller of the two dragged him through the door. In an angered fit, the Taki-nin hoisted Hidan up, tossing him at the second floor stairs. "Just shut up and go away…" he said almost bitterly, storming back to the room.

The Jashinist remained on the steps, staring up in shock at where his partner used to be. He stayed like that all night…until he gathered himself up and fled with to the morning light.

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**A/N:** D: OH NOES!!!!!!!! What happened to the not-quite-lovers?!?!.......Well, they ARE **_dysfunctional_** love! ;3** *gets shot***

Anway, I'll get started on the next chapter A.S.A.P.!!!!! I can't bare to have them apart for too long ;___;

**Ch. 12: Never**

"I'll just tell Leader that I...sacred Hidan off...that should be good enough...after all, _it's the truth._"


	12. Chapter 12: Never

**_***Sorry this chapter looks weird, the documents manager is going all wonky on me *is angry*_** Sorry it's late!!!! To be honest, I've this done for a few days, but kept forgetting to upload it!!!! School and dA, you know?

& PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ANY SPELLING MISTAKES!? I'm trying to get the last couple of chapters up for y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I've never written shounen ai………….**Pairings- the pairings requested were: HidaKuzu, SasoDei, PeiNan.

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****

Ch. 12: Never

He woke up to the sound of thunder.

Kakuzu slept, hunched on his side, sheets and hair messed. All night, the ninja had tossed and turned; something he does not usually do, and it proved to make his sleep ill. Cracking his eyes open, the man glimpsed the water-splattered outside through a slit between the curtains. It was somewhat comforting…or perhaps it was saddening? Either way, it made him feel less on edge…

Turning, he closed his eyes once more, stretching out across the bed. Awake enough to function, Kakuzu opened his eyes again lazily, surveying the shabby room with a sort of melancholy.

He woke up alone.

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"…F—king rain." The albino muttered, glaring down at nothing. He was huddled up under a tree, mumbling curses at the world and trying to stay dry. "F—k, d—n, _s—t_!"

It had started raining suddenly, giving the priest no time to take cover. Had he searched for any houses near, he'd already be inside, raiding the drawers and closets for all they're worth…but he didn't. He didn't, and that's why he was stuck out in the _f—king_ rainstorm, dripping wet and freezing.

"D—n rain, d—n Mother Nature! You want a piece of me?!" He yelled to the heavens, feeling rage warm his face. "F—k this _all_!"

He should have stayed at the inn. To be in the nice, warm bed…a breakfast, a _shower _instead of a d—n storm…and…Well, he didn't. He didn't stay, and that's why he was starving and darn filthy. _That's why. _He repeated to himself.

"…_s—t."_ Hidan choked under his breath; rage mixing with regret. "S—t, s—t, s—t…s—t!" The rain soaked his hair and clothes, running down his bare chest and stinging his heavy eyes. He really shouldn't have pissed Kuzu off…_That b-----d is the one who f—king overreacted!_

Thunder sounded as lightening tore at the sky, sending shivers down his back. The metal of his rosary clanked and splattered against the immortal's skin, sticking to the water every few seconds. His shelter was anything but, the flimsy tree offering little protection; irking him further. He shouldn't have pissed Kakuzu off…then he would be still be in the inn, warm and clean…but he _did_.

…and Jashin d—n the consequences.

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Packing had been a slower process that he would have liked. It was like he was moving in slow motion… all of his movements seemed sluggish, reluctant. Shoving it to the back of his mind, the ex-Taki nin forced himself to concentrate.

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One thing about the rain…it's almost melodic. A painful, sorrowful, and powerful melody pounded out over the stretched canvas of the Earth.

Soon enough, the irked priest was lulled by the same lullaby.

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Tying on hitai-ite over the white hood had been the last touch on his uniform. He stood stiffly; the trade-mark glare was the only part of his face to show through the many layers of clothing. _The rain had not let up._

Ignoring the clerk's cheerful goodbye, the stitched man walked out into the storm, indifferent to all but the mission.

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Hidan slumped against the tree, loosing conscientiousness. One thought faltered through his dream.

_He shouldn't have pushed him away…but he _did.

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Dried blood mixed with the still-pouring rain, weighting down the bounty lying limp in his hands. Kakuzu walked through the mud and puddles, still angry, to the drop-off point. Not being able to pound his frustration out on the man was even worse…he almost understood why Hidan complained about it…_The d—n priest._

Getting his money had taken some stress away; he camped out not too far from the bounty point after that, counting it absently and letting himself think things through.

_He shouldn't have pushed him away…but he _did.

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Stirring, Hidan stared out of bleary eyes, body aching of discomfort. For moment, he was dazed; staring at nothing, remembering to blink every moment, and just sitting…slouched against the tree, still soaking wet.

Slowly, the world came into better focus, sights and sounds hitting him roughly in the head. The rain had slackened it's downpour…it was much later in the day…nearing night. With the sun sinking lower behind gray clouds, the Jashinist was left listening to the splashing of water….and every few moments…a crackle. Slowly, realization dawned on him…_a fire near by _his instincts told him.

Hoisting himself up, Hidan's damp hair sloshed and stuck to his face, the gel missing to hold it back. If it were any other time, this would have been something for the man to complain about, but he couldn't care less at the moment. All that was on his mind was getting to that _f—king fire._

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"I'll just tell Leader that I...scared Hidan off...that should be good enough...after all, _it's the truth._" Kakuzu muttered to himself, engaged in a futile staring contest with the makeshift fire.

Hidden in the trees, Hidan watched the miser with blank anger. He stayed in shadow, not moving an inch as he stared at the man. Grinding his teeth, the albino sunk his nails into a near, unsuspecting tree, clawing at the bark off-mindedly. "D—n him…" he whispered under his breath, a bitter smirk ghosting over his face. He broke off chuckling, his magenta eyes burning fiercely.

The banker didn't notice the other presence until it had walked out in front of him. A splashing sound caught his attention, tearing his gaze from the fire a fraction. It seemed like a familiar presence…the smell of rainwater and mud had failed in washing another, deeper smell underneath it; the smell of strong cologne or shampoo perhaps, that mixed with a damp, heavy smell…almost like…blood.

Snapping his head up all the way, Kakuzu looked, practically glared, at the priest before him. Hidan glared right back. The ex-Taki was, at most, a bit shocked to see the immortal there, but it was true all true…the cocky grin was proof, those fierce eyes. "Hidan." He said at length, fully expecting for a typical cussing-out.

"Hm…Kakuzu…" the tone was mocking, _challenging_. The miser managed to cover half of his confusion with a glare. Apparently that was an expression Hidan had wanted. He stalked forward, grinning and glaring the other down. "Jeeze, did you f—k up, dumb—s." Stopping as he came right up to Kakuzu, the Jashinist crouched down, flicking out a kunai and tickling the line of the tan man's collar teasingly. Gripping the banker's knee, Hidan tore his nails across the pants material, smirking violently. "Don't think I'll forgive you for throwing me out…I'll _never_ forgive you…"

The miser was near about to knock the other's head off, his temper raising and defenses up as the kunai swirled around his cloak collar. Then Hidan did something strange, even for Hidan…he tackled him to the ground…and kissed him harshly.

"You're not getting away with leaving me hanging like that, old man" The albino hissed out, breaking the contact. Glaring down, he scowled at Kakuzu's shock and anger.

"You're the one who pushed me away, b-----d!" The tanned man growled, gripping Hidan's arms harshly and forcing him to the ground…and that idiot priest _grinned._

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A/N: So…sorry this took so long, and sorry it's kinda sad/angry, that was the mood I was in while writing this….WELL! Anyway, I'm thinking about 2 or 3 more chapters? STAY TUNNED!!!

Chapter 13: Sin of the Saint

"Hah, someone's f—king touchy." Hidan smirked up to the man. Kakuzu glared at him, torn between punching or kissing the albino. 


	13. Chapter 13: Sin of the Saint

**Well, here you guys go! :3 Another chapter, and with some 'action'…not much, mind you…but action none-the-less. ^w^; One more chapter to go after this!**

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Chapter 13: Sin of the Saint

"Hah, someone's f—king touchy." Hidan smirked up to the man. Kakuzu glared at him, torn between punching or kissing the albino. The priest took the silence as a cue to continue, acting as if it were the most normal day in the world; as if nonchalantly making chitchat with a lunch date. "I mean, _Jashin_, man! Can't you take a little teasing?" A dark chuckle escaped his lips; twisted up in a grin, as his hands gripped the banker's cloak harshly.

Not all too sure what to do, Kakuzu's glare deepened as he watched the other tear his cloak sleeves in between his fingers. Hidan's eyes were closed now, giving him that oh-so-_pompous_ look that only Hidan could muster while being _pinned to the floor_.

Soon his sleeves were little more than scraps of fabric as Hidan left off to destroy the rest of the cloak at his own leisure. "…b-----d…" the exTaki ground out, fist wrapping around Hidan's throat and pushing him against the ground.

"Ah!" The small gasp was reward to Kakuzu's temper, but the look of pain mixed with pleasure wasn't exactly unrewarding either. A smirk played on his stitched mouth, his other hand yanking the destructive hands of the 'holy man' form his cloak…a few more tears already appearing in it.

As Hidan's hands wear trapped to his stomach now, the only he could do was thrash and threaten, muttering out curse words with the little breath he had. His wet hair slopped in his face with each struggle to get free, obviously something his partner found amusing, judging from the look on his Jashin-d—n _smug_ face. "D-ah, d—n you!" he panted, gasping, "Y…you…s—ty- Argh! L-let me…f—king go!" Hidan spat out, choking on his words.

"Just shut up, you little w---e." Kakuzu said calmly, forcing a kiss onto his partner's lips. Keeping Hidan, hopefully, distracted, he removed the chocking hand down to where the albino's hands were held. Taking a hand in his now free one, the miser pinned Hidan's wrists over their heads, breaking the kiss.

Giving a grunt of slight protest, slight aggression at the tables being so easily turned on him, the priest sneered up to Kakuzu. "Hn! What's a matter, huh?" a smirk ghosted over his features, his eyes becoming clouded with mischief. "Is have to pin just to kiss me? Heh heh…and I thought you'd take advantage of poor-f--king-me in this kind of s--ty situation…" a slight challenge rang through his last words, getting cut off by a deep chuckle and harsh clash with the man on top of him.

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_(WARNING: this part gets…a little graphic, but not 'mature' graphic, no. More like make-out and a bit of blood graphic. It's my first time writing something like this, so I won't go into such detail, but you can skip over this part if you like…I added it in because this chapter felt…lacking without it. Thank you!)_

Hidan gave a low, dragged out moan as his clothes were practically ripped off by a very impatient partner above him. As the exTaki nin's eyes grazed over his desire, a spark egnitghted in the air…lightening.

"F-f—k, K-kuzu." Hidan whined, "It's gonna f—king _rain_ soon, b-----d. G-get us to a hotel or something….h—l, even one of those s—t inns you go to!" A shiver ran down his spine, drawing a small gasp as he shuddered beneath his equally as naked partner. "Hm…kuzu?"

_'Kuzu? Heh…that's new…'_ the miser thought amusedly, committing the sight displayed before him to memory. Not bothering to answer, he leaned forward and silenced Hidan in another kiss. Pushing against the Jashinist, Kakuzu urged him to respond. With a shiver, Hidan obliged, muttering against their lips _"f—king h-hotel, Kuzu-chan!"_ Growling, Kakuzu bit his bottom lip, drawing blood and earning a gasped moan from the other.

Slipping his tongue in between Hidan's lips quickly, Kakuzu let loose some of his threads as well. They skidded across the pale skin, teasing, and ripped and gauged when they pleased. Ripping small gashes upon the white skin, slowly, slowly painting it with a rich red. Agony laced with desire as a deep groan sounded in Hidan's throat, their tongues battling in their mouths. "J-just hurry up, f—ktard!" He yelled, breaking the kiss.

Kakuzu, however, was quick to join their lips again, lunging forward with a force that knocked Hidan's head back against the ground. A small stop of blood began to dampen his light hair as the priest's hands reached up to grasp his partner with as much force as he could muster. "Just do it, you p---y! Ah…d—n, Kakuzu…"

The priest needed no more plea to cause, as the tanned man's hand moved down to yank of the last article of clothing between them.

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The rain had started again, not as hard as before, but it was definitely raining. A chill ran through the air, the wind picking up and making them cling closer to each other.

"D-d—n, Kakuzu…" Hidan muttered, face red and eyes closed as he clutched the other tighter. "D—n, at least if you're not gonna give me my clothes back, check into some s—t inn or something!"

"No." Not in the mood for words, the banker tried ignoring his partner's pleas…in vain. For darn if those please didn't come from the same man that moaned under him, still trying to catch his breath as they lay on each other.

The rain was a bit of an unwelcome contender, though it did wash some of the blood off. Hidan had several new gashes in his skin, his white frame died with streams of red, face heated as well. Kakuzu was no better than him, somewhere during their 'moment of passion', the bloody priest managed to sink his nails in the tan man's shoulders, dragging out fiery scratch lines across his back.

A string of angry mumbling streamed forth from the immortal, breaking Kakuzu of his thoughts. Giving a low growl, he smacked Hidan upside the head. " Shut up, will you?!"

"Hmph!" was all the answer he got for once, perhaps better than he'd expected from the zealot.

As Hidan pouted, hoping to get his partner's attention, he wrapped his arms around the other's back, shivering in the wind and rain. The banker spared him a sidelong glance and then sighed, wrapping his arms around the other as well, drawing him closer to himself. The action earned a content sigh, Hidan burying himself further into the body heat greedily.

After what seemed an eternity of silence, the miser spoke. "…you're paying for my new cloak, you idiot."

"…go f---k yourself."

"No thanks, you were good enough." Kakuzu's smirk earned him a frantic punch to the head.

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**A/N: Well….there you go! :3 ONE CHAPTER LEFT!!!!!!!!!! *parties* Yay! It'll be my first completed fic!!!! ;w; I'm so happy…. **

Chapter 14: Epilogue

(no spoilers for this one! ^w^ I'll just make ya wait & guess what's gonna happen in the LAST CHAPTER!!!!! XD Mwahahahaha!……………..:D Have a nice day~ )


	14. Chapter 14: Epilogue

**LAST CHAPTER, GUYS!!! ;w; Wow….I gotta say, it feels awfully weird to be ending this….hm, my first completed fic. Stay tunned for a big bad THANKYAVERYMUCH :D in the authors note, y'all!!!! w;;;;;;**

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Chapter 14: Epilogue

"So…" Deidara drawled out, trying his best to look innocent and unsuspecting, "…you guys 'do it', yet, hmm?"

"Agh! C'mon! Already starting with the f—king _relationship_ trivia?! Jashin-d—n it, Deidara, we just got back to the f—king base!"

Chuckling like a madman, the bomber sprinted easily out of the pike's range, the very flustered man wielding it not paying enough attention. "I swear on Jashin's holy name, I'll get you, blondie!"

"Oh, so the bishi's got game, un?" The other taunted, earning another destructive strike from the 'holy man'.

Kakuzu, Sasori, and Itachi sat back at the kitchen table, busying themselves with 'better' things. As the miser counted out the bounty money for the fifth time, he sighed deeply, knowing Leader would not be happy if the living room were destroyed, but feeling much too worn out to actually do anything about it yet…A few moments from returning to the base and _already_ the two brats had started a fight.

"What's wrong, Kakuzu?"

Whipping his head up, the banker looked over towards Itachi, who was not even looking at Kakuzu himself. "Hm…the annoying idiot." He breathed nonchalantly, earning a single nod from the Uchiha as he finished off another stick of dango.

"Well, see that you don't kill this one, hm?…might end up with someone even more annoying." Sasori broke in, the humor almost unrecognizable in his voice as he tinkered with what looked a new puppet. A ghost of a smirk played on his young features. "You know, it's not just you who suffers from your partner's loud mouth…"

"Quite…they all seem to lack any respect for others…" Itachi trailed off, seizing another dango from the bad in his lap.

Giving a blank glance towards the living room, the stitched man smirked bitterly under his mask. "Hm…I can't imagine anyone worse than Hidan…" Giving a deep chuckle, he turned back to his money. "…Probably kill myself if I had _another_ annoying partner after him…"

"…he trumps all the fools in the deck." Sasori practically finished the scentence for him, a knowing smirk now plainly on his face.

Kakuzu stared briefly at the puppet master, mind wondering to the two artists for a moment. With a quick nod, he looked down and began to count again.

The three men sat in silence, save for the continuing taunts and yells from the other room.

"K-kuzu! Come in here and help me, you b-----d!"

"…not a chance, idiot."

"Er….K-kuzu-chan! C'mon, help me!,,,ah, f—king _please_?"

The miser paused briefly in his counting, glancing amusedly to the doorway separating the living room and kitchen. Heaving a sigh, he got up from his chair and walked towards the commotion. "You're such a baby, oh-all-mighty-desiple-of-Jashin."

"Argh! I hate you all!"

Smirking, Kakuzu walked in to break up the fight, whispering in voice barely audible, _"Love you too, moron_,"…and as silent prayers are heard from unseen gods, the dullest whisper was heard from the zealous priest…a pout and demand for massacre of the blond met as it's answer.

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**A/N: …………..wow……………Hm. :3 I-it's over?! XD Hahahaha! I'm shocked, actually! Don't worry, though, this ain't no grammy awards, so I won't start crying or anything. I do, however, want to thank all of the fans who have endured this cruddy fic ^_^;**

**Hidan: Yeah, you b---hes! ^w^ Thanks for supporting this f—ktard's story! Huh, though it's obvious you all read it cause of yours truly, right? ;3**

**Kakuzu: Shut your mouth before I sew it shut, moron! -___-;….the real reason they read it is because that idiot writer made it free! *many angry noises* **

**___; Um, _yeah_…sorry if it sucks, but I feel satisfied with it…If you'd like to make any requests for new fics or ask me to do any drawings from this, go right ahead! ^___^**

**THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!!!!!!!!!**


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